Constructing the foundation
Last year I made do with what I had, this year I will build what I need.
What this means to me
- Focus more on the parts of myself I like, and how to expand them, over the parts I don't and how to cut them out
- Build good habits rather than trying to break bad ones
- Set realistic goals and be ok with failing
- Building the parts of myself I want to maintain going forward
What this means in the concrete
- finding and establishing a relationship with a therapist
- reading more books, journals, articles, and papers
- expanding my obsidian vault to more areas of knowledge and interest
- Start Often Finish rArely
As a contradiction to point 1, I want to start cutting out the parts of myself that allow me to create more. Imposter syndrome, etc.
It's a bit over halfway through the year, so I wanted to write a little progress report on how I have felt this year, and some of the things I have accomplished that I am proud of.
The biggest thing that happened this year was my decision to take a break from school for a while. I'm not sure if I'll return to the college I was at, or what the future holds, but I am glad that I made the decision to take a break. The hypercompetitive environment combined with me trying to get a hold on depression & anxiety led to me doing far worse than I could have. I decided to take this break to get a job, so I can get some savings, and work on personal projects that I think would allow me to get into the industries I want to be a part of.
This year has been a great year for my notes and general learning. I've been pushing my knowledge in C, general Linux usage, and Godot to prepare for a new larger project. One thing I want to do in the back half of the year is make some games, so I can populate my Itch with some fun experiments and tests.
My mental health has had its ups and downs, but I do think that I'm going in the right direction. I have had a few sessions with a new therapist, but need to get a more consistent schedule set up. I'm trying to meditate more often, and recognize when I get overwhelmed and need to take some time to decompress. The biggest hurdles I want to hovercome are my fear of failure that makes finishing projects difficult, and my imposter syndrome that discourages me from stepping out of my comfort zone.
Writing I did abt this